Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My liver is preforming stress tests.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize