Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
