The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
