Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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