Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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