Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
