I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
