Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
