Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
