2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
