I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
