But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
