do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
