You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
