its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize