you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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