but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize