Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
