mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize