summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
