:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
