Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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