did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize