I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
