whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
