Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
