It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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