love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
