guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
