i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize