What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
