You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
