best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
