But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
