she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
