Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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