I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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