Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
