We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need moral support for this bender
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
