$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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