saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
