just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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