Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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