WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
