We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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