we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
