Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
