she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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