ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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