So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
