On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
