whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
