Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
