I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize