it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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