Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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