google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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