@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
