i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
