What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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