3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
