the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
