Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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