I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
