community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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