he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
