i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize