Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
