i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm at about main and main street
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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