gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
